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Dealing with a toxic person can be mentally draining, but employing certain communication techniques can help you protect your boundaries.

We all know that person — the one who leaves you feeling worse off after interacting with them. Maybe it’s a manipulative family member or a co-worker who can’t stop complaining about every little thing.
It’s common to refer to these people as being toxic. But it’s important to keep in mind that this term isn’t grounded in psychology and doesn’t have a simple definition.
Barrie Sueskind, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships, shares some key signs of toxicity:

• self-absorption or self-centeredness
• manipulation and other emotional abuse
• dishonesty and deceit
• difficulty offering compassion to others
• a tendency to create drama or conflict
Sound like familiar? Read on for tips on how to respond to this type of behavior.

Avoid playing into their reality

Some people have a tendency to see themselves as the victim in every situation. If they mess up, they might shift the blame to someone else or tell a story that paints them in a more positive light.
You might feel tempted to nod and smile in order to prevent an angry outburst. This might feel like the safest option, but it can also encourage them to see you as a supporter.
Try respectful disagreement instead. You might say, “I had a different take on the situation,” and describe what really happened. Stick to the facts, without making accusations.
While your disagreement might upset them, it might also lower the chances they’ll try involving you again.

Don’t get drawn in

Dealing with someone’s toxic behavior can be exhausting. The person might constantly complain about others, always have a new story about unfair treatment, or even accuse you of wronging them or not caring about their needs.
Resist the urge to jump on the complaining train with them or defend yourself against accusations. Instead, respond with a simple, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and leave it at that.
Pay attention to how they make you feel
Sometimes simply becoming more aware of how someone’s toxic behavior affects you can help you better navigate interactions with them.
Most people occasionally say rude or hurtful things they don’t mean. No one feels their best all the time, and being in a bad mood can make you lash out. This isn’t necessarily toxic.
But ask yourself if put-downs, lies, or other types of emotional and verbal abuse characterize most of your interactions. Do they apologize or seem to notice how what they say or do affects you?
Personal struggles don’t excuse abuse, and you don’t have to accept it, either.

Talk to them about their behavior

Someone who gossips, manipulates others, or creates dramatic situations night not realize how their behavior affects you or anyone else. An open conversation may help them realize this behavior is unacceptable.
Say no (and walk away)
Remember, you aren’t at fault
Make yourself unavailable
Limit your time together
When you can’t avoid the person
Set boundaries
Change your routine
Encourage them to get help
Don’t get personal
Maintain calm
The bottom line
Sometimes, cutting people out of your life may seem like the only way to escape their toxic behavior. But this isn’t always feasible.
If you have to spend time with someone who exhibits toxic behavior, remind yourself their actions aren’t your fault nor your responsibility. It’s important they know what you’re not willing to tolerate.