How to Handle Interpersonal Conflict Like a Pro

Interpersonal conflict refers to any type of conflict involving two or more people. It’s different from an intrapersonal conflict, which refers to an internal conflict with yourself.
Mild or severe, interpersonal conflict is a natural outcome of human interaction. People have very different personalities, values, expectations, and attitudes toward problem-solving. When you work or interact with someone who doesn’t share your opinions or goals, conflict can result.

Conflict isn’t always serious, though. Nor is it always negative. Learning how to recognize and work through interpersonal conflict in productive, healthy ways is an important skill that can help you have better relationships in your day-to-day life.
First, identify the type of conflict
In broad terms, conflict happens when two or more people disagree. You might experience verbal conflict, such as an argument, or nonverbal conflict, which might involve someone turning their back or walking away from you.
No matter how conflict shakes out, you can identify it as one of these six types.

Pseudo conflict
A pseudo conflict typically happens in one of the following situations:
• A misunderstanding leads to a difference of opinion.
• The people involved in the conflict believe they have different goals when, in reality, they have similar goals.
• When one person involved in the conflict mocks or taunts the other (sometimes called badgering).

In most cases, you can resolve pseudo conflict without too much trouble. It generally just takes a bit of clarification about what you actually meant or some further exploration of how your goals actually do align.
Fact conflict
You’re utterly convinced snakes can hear, but your friend insists they can’t because they don’t have ears.
This illustrates a fact conflict, also called simple conflict. Fact conflict happens when two or more people disagree over information or the truth of something.

Because this kind of conflict involves facts, you can often resolve it pretty easily. All you have to do is check a credible source for the truth.
Value conflict
This kind of conflict comes up when different personal values lead to disagreement.
If you and a coworker have different views on abortion rights, for example, or you and your brother have different religious beliefs, you might find yourself in a value conflict.
This type of conflict doesn’t always have a clear path to resolution. People can have such widely varying personal values and beliefs, so you may find it most helpful to just acknowledge your opposing viewpoints (respectfully) and accept that you likely won’t change each other’s minds.

Policy conflict
This conflict happens when people can’t agree on a problem-solving strategy or action plan in a given situation. Personality, upbringing, education, and any number of other factors might have an impact on someone’s approach to policy, or problem-solving, so this kind of conflict isn’t unusual.
It might happen when parents disagree on the most effective way to discipline a child, for example, or when coworkers have different ideas about the best way to tackle a big project.

Ego conflict
Ever had an argument where neither you nor the other person involved could back down or accept a loss?
Ego conflict often develops alongside other types of conflict, and it can make any disagreement trickier to navigate. It commonly happens when conflict gets personal.
Then, decide your resolution strategy
Managing conflict doesn’t necessarily mean preventing conflict. Different opinions and perspectives can provide opportunities to better understand how other people feel and relate to them on a deeper level.

When conflict inevitably happens, respectful communication is key. You may not always agree with everyone, and that’s just fine. Polite words and an open mind can help you resolve — or come to terms with — differences more effectively.
There are plenty of healthy, productive ways to work through conflict, though some won’t work in every situation. Generally, conflict resolution falls into one of the following categories.
Withdrawal
Accommodation
Competition
Compromise
Collaboration